Some idiot's making prank calls. The child cannot study.
What's that music in the background?
I know it's Italian...
OK, never mind. Enjoy, we'll talk later.
The first time I saw you
An angel so little and so sweet
In an instant my love was true
For ever I will love you
The prejudice is false indeed
That a mother is all you need
'Cause whatever she could give
A father can better achieve
Share joys only with Dad
Share secrets only with Dad
Do a PERM only with dad
Even if he has a special girlfriend
Only you bring Daddy luck
And that girlfriend he just fu... fully respects
You live in your dreams, baby
And my voice you don't heed
You don't yet know what love may be... I hope
And you don't know that Daddy is all you need...
Why are we in a fucking home video?!
I'm going through existential pain here, man!
Come closer this song you must hear
Your Daddy would give his life gladly
For all the boys in your life to disappear...
Sophia?
Sophia, honey? - Go away!
Daddy is not that big of a jerk
not to let you go out with... boys.
Really? - Really.
Cross your heart?
Cross my heart.
Of course, you'll have time for that... Plenty of time.
For example, this kid Marko. Do you remember when he
brought those Barbie dolls to dress them together,
and you buried them in the garden? - Cremated!
Yes, in a microwave oven. I forgot. Such a creative child!
This kid, Marco is a fine young man.
The other day he asked my permission to take you out.
He's so well-bred. - But Dad, Marco is like family to me.
I don't feel any passion for him. - You're just fifteen!
Passion comes later, MUCH LATER!
Now is the time to be passionate about,
let's say, a good book.
At your age I couldn't take my hands of...
I have to go. They're waiting for me.
How do I look?
Daddy, lipstick.
Marco, uncle Nikola has something to ask you.
I'm not asking you to be an ordinary rat
and to do it out of love.
I'll make you an offer you cannot refuse.
Uncle Nikola, just give me some advice, man to man.
No need to bribe me. Just show me
how to become... COOL
Sonny, I haven't got seven lives,
we better stick to business.
You see how easy it is?
Us Serbs, we are programmed to love only two things.
To inform on people and to be paid for it!
I want a detailed written report
about potential aggressors on my child.
You get the second payment and scotch tape
when your work is done. Understood?
I've been waiting for my daughter the whole day
To come back to Daddy, "I love you"to say.
Your waiting is in vain, she's found her way.
I'll wait for her, yes I will, even if it's in vain.
Darling, stop Darling, stop, relax
I'm going to fucking kill these assholes!
I'm yours! If you don't want me, my friend does.
I'd love you too, dear, but my mother won't let me...
What fucking mother?
What idiotic lyrics! And... a Musical?!
We all know what kind of people like musicals!
Look at those two guys. First some hand-holding
in a cinema and then hanky-panky!
Aghh... what would your poor mothers say!
I want a normal movie,
like "Hong-Kong Smash-Up", that kind of shit!
Wow! Come to Daddy!
I have to go.
Hi, Daddy. - Good day.
I have also come to ask my daughter out.
You promised to go go-carting with me
a long time ago.
Let me see.
We could go on Thursday. - No, I have a date
with that cute football player.
Maybe Sunday. I can ditch that poet.
Daddy, on Sunday I'm all yours.
Nikola - dash - Daddy.
I feel a drain... of karmic energy in you.
Your aura is somehow pale. - It's not the aura.
My washing machine doesn't rinse properly.
And... I'm using a lot of fabric SOFTENER...
to avoid chaffing. - Maybe my mother
is breaking your concentration. Or it's business problems.
More like family problems. - Don't worry, hon,
You can't get it up. But age brings wisdom.
Or so they say.
Isn't it so, mom? - Wise guy.
Uncle Nikola? - Let's hear it!
I've been on duty here the whole time.
She's not back yet.
What an engine! 3700 ccm... - Cut the crap!
What a coincidence! Father and daughter
returning home at the same time.
Which is not what we agreed on. You're late.
I know, but I had a great time, Daddy.
Really? - I'll brush my teeth, grab my teddy and hit the beddy.
This is that guy Andrei. He's some kind of an artist.
An artist? Excellent! Artists are usually harmless.
What kind of artist? - A musician I think.
What kind of music? Classic, jazz, ambient?
I don't know. - Why am I paying you for? Investigate!
I want a detailed report. - There are many rumors.
What rumors? - That he never wore short pants.
I don't understand. What short pants?
Why are you brushing your teeth?!
Listen, never mind that you were an hour late...
The question is how you spent that hour?
You want to know if I slept with Andrei?
Why don't you read about it in my diary?
If you don't feel like reading I'll tell you. I didn't.
I mean, not yet.
Sweety... - Nikola, I'm fifteen
but not five or seven. Do you remember this?
I remember. - You don't remember, Nikola.
Because mom always marked my height.
The first time I saw you...
Enough with that fucking musical!
Or I'll change the genre...
...into PORN!
This is sick!
Why? Low budget, but cute. This is not a studio movie.
Enough with the fucking sex, man!
Hey, not me! - What do you think,
how many times a day does an average teenager...
...think of sex? - I don't know. 20-30 times.
758 times! - Huh.
And - A rocker!?
Let's drop psychology for a moment,
and use common language: YOU'RE FUCKED!
You'll have to resort to drastic measures.
No, I can't do that. - Breathe, breathe...
Concentrate hard on what's troubling you.
You dropped it.
A young plant will be pulled out from the roots.
Be wary of a stranger, who crosses your threshold.
It's not as bad as it seems. On the contrary.
I feel you're ready for another try. Don't move.
...of a stranger, who crosses your threshold...
...a young spearman! You prick!
Give it to me. Why are you like that?
Well, take it.
Didn't I give her everything? Winter and summer holidays,
ice cream on a sore throat, wild boar hunting,
duck hunting... - Now we shall freshen up your aura.
Deana, something important came up and I have to leave,
but I'll be back and the aura...
Oh, Go Fuck Yourself!
Mom!
Wonderful children!
A sec ago they were playing "Hide and a seek around the dick".
Self control, remember?
Today's girls do nothing but... - Study! - Fuck off!
I see, a party.
This stereo sucks. - Hi, Dad.
We found Mom and your old records.
I hope you don't mind. - Of course not.
Is there a beer for me?
Don't freak out, party on!
The things I used to do to my folks.
I drove them nuts.
Gimme that.
Your kids will do the same to you some day.
Your Dad is really cool.
Moroccan, excellent.
Afghani.
No. No, thank you.
See, kids, Uncle Nicky used to raise hell to this music.
Absolutely you're my number. Absolutely I'm your number.
Absolutely a perfect couple we are!
Thank you, thank you.
Nikola, you rule. - We had a great time.
I'm so glad we met.
Would you like me to stay and help clean up?
Very nice of you, perhaps... another time.
Bye. - You rock.
Man, my ex-girlfriends parents hated my guts.
How come you're so different from all the rest?
Andrei, I think it's because
you remind me so much of myself when I was your age.
Listen, son, you need to know one thing about Sophia.
No shit? - My daughter is a very romantic person.
You're really great, Dad. - She deserves the best.
Bring my daughter and my car back by 11.
Yes, Sir! - Actually, make it 11:30.
And now... screwing time!
We'll see. - Why the fuck are you hitting me?
Bravo, kiddo. Let's move!
I thought they'd go downtown for a drink
and they're off to the middle of nowhere.
You really don't have a clue. He's taking her to...
Shut up and drive! - But you're driving, uncle Nikola.
Who's driving? - You are!
I know where they're headed. We'll take a shortcut.
I also used to f... f... fool around there.
Fatso, screw your own date!
What are you looking at? Back to work.
They're just crossing the railroad.
The target is 20 ft away - We'll hide in the bushes.
You stay a bit further away from me.
Where are they? What's up, Joe!
Hi, buddy. - Strange. They stopped.
Maybe the car can't make it up the hill.
She could go up a greasy pole.
Not you, baby.
Hump, hump kids.
Where is that fool going?
Boy came out of the house and out into the street
He is running very fast to the locomotive's beat.
Sorry, I'm my parents' only child.
Hurry up, maybe you can still manage to COME!
Daddy!
Baby!
Grandma's engagement ring!
This is so romantic. Love is born again from tragedy.
Although... something's missing. Let's go again.
Night fell and then...
...it started to rain.
Am I the greatest film director or what?
You pisspot! A man can't even take a leak!
One tear follows another.
What fucking GENRE is this?!?
So what?! A bit of this, a bit of that. Artsy shit!
Fuck Hollywood! Fuck conventions!
Angel, let's do her while she's still warm!
Don't hit me, you faggot! It was a joke!
Sophia!
Daddy!
What about me?!
Let me have him at least.
Mommy! - Beat it, pussy!
You stingy fuck!
What can I say?
Nikola, I'm so sorry.
No, no! Self control!
It's all right, son.
Screw psychotherapy! Give him some physical therapy.
You cocksucker! This is for the handles,
this is for the front left wheel.
You know how many parts this car has? - No!
Please, just let Daddy release his tension!
Please, just for an hour! - No, you animal!
Just a minute. Daddy has to release his stress.
Stress is a man's greatest enemy. It's the cause
of all disease. Release your stress whenever you can.
Damn it, he wears contact lenses.
I'm so sorry.
It's all right, son.
What's important is that you two are safe and sound.
What can I say? Your Dad is really cool. - I know.
But you're not!
Daddy's girl.
From what I can determine... It's a wreck.
Remember what I taught you, always clench your fist.
I'm not focused when it's a street fight.
This is not a street, it's a railroad.
Let me show you. Marco, come here.
Sorry, Daddy.
Aw, forget it.
Sophia!
So long, dumb ass.
Listen up! Zoran, Milan, Dragan...
...I'll stick it... Hi, Marina.
Everything is just fine. Relax.
I know it's hard for you to relax.
Listen, I've been a terrible husband, but I know one thing.
I'm one of the best dads in the world.
If not the best.
And if there's ever a Fathers' Olympics,
I going to register. And win.
That's it, Daddy.
You spent all your bullets as usual.
Honey, don't be a prick! - "Do you feel lucky, punk"!
You wouldn't shoot your own father... in the back?
Move to the left a bit. - No, Daddy, no!
You're dead, dummy.
Just so you know, I let you win this time.
Because I owe you a lot. - Forget about it, baby.
Why didn't you bring that sweet young man
to play with us?
I didn't tell you, because I know you like him, but...
I broke up with him.
You broke up?
With such a nice young man?
It's nice of you to worry, but Andrei wasn't good for me.
But you gave him hope! You can't use your beauty
to manipulate boys. - I know. But it's all so new for me.
Boys never noticed me before.
And now look - the most popular girl in school.
Let me enjoy it for a while.
Andrei was too pushy, if you know what I mean.
You're completely right then.
What are you doing here?
We said we wouldn't see each other for a while.
For about seventy years. - I didn't come to see you.
Nikola, you are the only man who understands me.
If you don't mind,
maybe the two of us could go out sometime.
You're LIKE A FATHER to me!
Aw, this is not what I call a father-son hug!
Let me.
Oh, I have a hotel there. You owe me...
Really? Are you sure?
I don't know. Maybe I mis-counted.
Don't ask me, I'm in Jail.
Sorry. You got a "Chance". Draw.
"You won second place in a beauty contest. "
Just second!?
Give up! Get the door. I have to change.
Who is it? - I have no idea.
Good evening. Let me introduce myself.
I'm Bozidar. You must be Nikola, Sophia's dad.
I've heard so much about you.
The skirt is a bit short. Don't you think?
You think so? - Don't be so old fashioned!
Sorry... Hands up!
Marco doesn't think my skirt is too short. - No, no.
Spread the legs!
Got some drugs, some pills, some weed?
Hey, little condoms! Ow!
You better hide this shit or she'll know you're a moron.
Hands down!
Sophia can stay 'til 11. - He's lying! - For popcorn.
'Til 11:30! - Don't worry, she'll be home by 11.
Cool! Now we split my daughter's winnings...
You can have this beauty contest. Let's go on.
I have to go home, uncle Nikola. Night.
Why? You're a handsome kid.
Jump, jump, jump! A Chance! Let's see.
You can't fool me. - Why, he's a nice boy. Real gent.
Oh, I've got a virgin, 15 years old. How nice.
Give me that!
Go to jail!
The worst is behind us. Now she has a new boyfriend.
Kisses hands and stuff. A bit fruity.
But never mind, he's a NICE boy.
To my office! Quickly!
You've stepped into a classic "Parent trap"!
"A NICE BOY"!? There's nothing worse than that.
In no time you'll notice nausea, dizziness,
an uncontrollable urge for pickled vegetables,
and - caboom! Three months pregnant!
What do I do? - You're in deep shit, my friend.
No! I have an idea! Move over.
Relax. - Like this?
I have a plan. - Doctor!
I don't have an appointment, but I'm going through hell!
I've already tried to commit suicide twice,
I feel the third time will be... - Fuck off!
This is not an emergency room! - Stupid cow! I am a sick man!
GET OUT! ... Fatal!
Don't worry, Mrs. - Miss...
Let's go for a little walk to enjoy the view.
From the city bridge maybe!
You're not only my best friend but my best patient too...
I simply wish never to cure you.
Listen to the plan.
It's called: "Exposing the Wolf in Sheep's Clothing!"
Yes! Yes! Now I've got you. You're through.
Fuck! Shit! Ouch!
There is nothing I can do! Analogue technology.
I'll kill the kid!
You really want to break Sophia's heart like this?
You don't have much experience with women? - Well...
Saw your mother naked. That's all? Well...
Give me back that cash advance.
Please, uncle Nikola, I need a new hard drive.
Fuck the hard drive! I am saving your life, kiddo.
It's a bit big for me. - No kidding. Take it off.
Thank you, doll.
Let's see. Give me those goggles.
You've made Nikola help the kid to do - what?
I don't understand this scene, but it's kinda... "homo".
Cool. You'll be a man... One day!
There you are. - Thank you.
Look, this must be mom.
The things I do for my patients.
She's crying, man. - But on scientific grounds.
Fuck your science!
Who could do such an awful thing?
It must be some jealous bitch! - Sure, kid.
Dad, why didn't you tell me that men are so evil?
Not all of them, kid. Not all of them.
Let's clear the working area.
Now uncle Nicky will work on his neglected sex life.
Let's see... Under "A".
What do we have here? Anna, Angela, Anita,
auto mechanic...
We will skip him. Let's see under "B".
Biba, Bobana, Bojana,
Biljana?
Howdy... Biljana.
I thought this thing between us was honest and real.
There are many people who hate our relationship,
because it's so pure. - You little prick!
My ex must have made a photo montage. - Really?
At my farewell party tomorrow before I go to college in London
I want to prove my love to you.
It's highly sensitive. - I'm sensitive too!
Instead of fooling around with science,
I better do it the traditional way!
Say something.
If - It - Doesn't - work, You're - Fucked kiddo.
It's working, huh? - Perfect.
See, I'm not brushing my teeth.
See, I have something for you.
Ripped by SkyFury